Life Stories

The records document the activities at Pertubuhan Kebajikan Rumah Kasih Jing Yuan and the stories of the patients, whether they are in their final moments or in the process of recovery. Each patient has a touching story with valuable lessons for us to learn. By reading their stories, we can send them deep blessings and encouragement.

20210409

Ah Hua's World

Written by Jia Hui

Ah Hua, aged 66, was discovered collapsed by a kind-hearted person on the roadside last year and was rushed to the hospital. She was diagnosed with a stroke, leaving her unable to care for herself. During her stay in the hospital, she lost contact with her family. Later, through a referral from the Welfare Department, she came to Pertubuhan Keabjikan Rumah Kasih Jing Yuan.

When Ah Hua arrived at Jing Yuan, she often experienced high blood pressure, which caused facial and body spasms. She had been in and out of the hospital about two times. It wasn't until the end of last year that the doctor told us, "She has too many illnesses, and her organs are beginning to fail. There is no possibility of further treatment; we can only rely on medication to alleviate her pain."

When I first met Ah Hua, she asked me my name, and after introducing myself, she frequently called my name, saying "Jia Hui, Jia Hui..." Since Ah Hua was a Buddhist, I told her, "I'm just an ordinary person. There's no merit in calling my name. You should recite the names of Bodhisattva Guanyin or Amitabha Buddha for merit."

However, Ah Hua replied, "I call you because I want you to help me with something." Sometimes, she'd ask me to fetch warm water, then a minute later, she'd request that I make her a cup of tea. Afterward, she'd ask for noodles or fruits, and so on. Her bed was a manual hospital bed, so after each meal or drink, she'd ask me to adjust her bed to her comfort manually. After serving her this way for several days, I said to Ah Hua, "You have me walking back and forth like this every day, and I'm starting to get annoyed." Her response surprised me, "You can still walk around; think about me, lying in bed, unable to go anywhere. Is that better for you? You should be grateful you can still move." Her words left me both amused and touched.

I remember one time when I was feeding her porridge, she tilted her head to the side while eating. But as soon as Venerable Chang Miao, our resident monastic, came to check on her, she immediately sat upright, joined her palms together, and respectfully said, "Amitabha Buddha." I was bewildered, thinking, "You have double standards!" However, witnessing her deep reverence for the Triple Gem, I couldn't help but admire her.

She even once said, "The best person here is Brother Xiao." I responded, "I'm the one feeding you right now. Why don't you say I'm good?" She chuckled and said, "You're good too, but you just love teasing me." I retorted, "I'm trying to get your brain working a bit. See how you react. I'm doing it for your own good." My response made her burst into laughter, and I realized she enjoyed playfully bantering with me.

I recall one time Ah Hua told me that Amitabha Buddha came to visit her the previous night. Curious, I asked her, "Why didn't you go with Amitabha Buddha to the Western Pure Land?" She replied, "Amitabha Buddha didn't ask me to go. If he had asked, it would have been nice." I further inquired, "What did Amitabha Buddha do when he visited you?" She said, "Amitabha Buddha stood beside me and continuously recited Amitabha Buddha's name." Then she asked me, "Do you find life painful? Would you like to go with me?" Her question momentarily stumped me, and I simply replied, "I have many things left to do, so I can't go just yet."

One morning, Ah Hua saw me and asked, "Who are you, and why are you here?" At that moment, I saw the panic in her eyes. I replied, "Hello, Ah Hua, I'm Jia Hui, a new volunteer. Nice to meet you." Ah Hua's memory was deteriorating, and her consciousness was sometimes unclear. Sometimes, she'd ask me to go "downstairs" to call her friends to repay her money. Other times, she'd invite me to attend her friend's wedding banquet. She'd also tell me who was standing on the other side of me (when there was no one there).

Ah Hua not only had issues with her memory but also suffered from bedsores. Initially, there were one or two, but they gradually increased to over ten on her head, back, abdomen, hands, and feet. Although she took pain relief medication, the prolonged usage had weakened her immune system, rendering it ineffective. Almost every night, she would cry out for help, disturbing the sleep of other patients, some of whom didn't understand her and would scold her. We took her to see the doctor, who only increased the quantity of pain relief medication.

Ah Hua endured tremendous suffering from her illness. In her last three days with us, she refused to eat or drink, even her favorite foods like roasted pork and pig intestine noodles. We understood that she didn't want to continue suffering, so we respected her decision. During those three days, she kept her fingers tightly interlocked, stared ahead, and repeatedly called out "Mother, Mother."

On the evening we received news of Ah Hua's passing, I felt sadness and sorrow. However, knowing the excruciating pain her body had endured, I could only offer my blessings. I kept chanting "Namo Guan Shi Yin Pu Sa" in my mind, hoping that Ah Hua could pass on to the Pure Land, free from suffering.

20210619

Soulful Communication

Written by Jia Hui

Aunty Loi, 69 years old, had two sons. Her elder son was hearing-impaired and had blurry vision, currently working in a massage parlor. Her younger son had been abroad for nearly 10 years, and they had lost contact. In 2020, she was evicted from her home due to unpaid rent. With the help of her neighbors and Tzu Chi volunteers, she found a place to stay.

In early this year, a colleague found her collapsed on the ground. She was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer. Tzu Chi volunteer Brother Chen helped Aunty Loi apply for a referral letter from the Welfare Department, and she moved to Pertubuhan Kebajikan Rumah Kasih Jing Yuan.

When Aunty Loi first arrived at Jing Yuan, she could still care for herself, and her mental state was relatively good. However, her cancer tumor had ruptured, requiring daily wound cleaning, which was very painful. Even with the use of morphine, she would cry out in agony and sometimes push away the nurses. Due to this situation, the next morning, the nurse asked me to help calm Aunty Loi so that she could undergo wound cleaning smoothly. I readily agreed.

Before cleaning the wound, I chatted with Aunty Loi and asked her if she had any religious beliefs. She said she didn't but was open to Buddhism. I then asked her, "Do you know how to recite 'Amitabha Buddha'?" She replied, "Amitabha Buddha, it's only four words; of course, I can. But you have to recite it with me, or else I might forget." I promised her that when the nurse came to clean her wound, we would recite 'Amitabha Buddha' together, and she nodded in agreement.

While the nurse cleaned her wound, I stood by, reciting the Buddha's name and assisting the nurse with the wound cleaning. At the same time, Aunty Loi held my hand, reciting the Buddha's name along with us. Although she still experienced pain during the wound cleaning process, at least she no longer pushed the nurse away, allowing the nurse to clean her wound more smoothly.

After each wound cleaning, Aunty Loi always thanked us. I replied, "I also want to thank you for giving us the opportunity to serve you. Despite the pain, you never refuse our help. It's not easy."

Aunty Loi knew that her time was running out, and what she couldn't let go of most was her elder son. She would take out her son's photo from her wallet every day and look at it. She mentioned that since the Movement Control Order (MCO) was imposed last year, she hadn't seen her elder son for over a year. She worked in Pahang, while her elder son lived in Selangor. With the assistance of Tzu Chi volunteer Brother Chen, her relatives and elder son were successfully contacted. They arranged for a heartwarming reunion. I thank Tzu Chi volunteers for accompanying her to see the doctor and facilitating their reunion.

Afterward, Aunty Loi's health deteriorated, and she could no longer care for herself. Her appetite also diminished. On the day before her passing, her breathing slowed, and she no longer wanted to eat. She had lost the strength to speak and could only communicate through gestures. Due to the MCO, her family couldn't be with her until the end. I asked Aunty Loi if she wanted to have a video call with her family, and she nodded. I immediately contacted her family. Although Aunty Loi and her family couldn't be physically together, they could feel the warmth through the video call.

Aunty Loi's siblings and nephews and nieces assured her that they would take care of her elder son. They comforted her and told her not to worry. Aunty Loi smiled and nodded, expressing her gratitude.

Finally, we managed to contact Aunty Loi's elder son (as he couldn't be reached by phone, Aunty Loi's sister went to his workplace to find him). When Aunty Loi saw her son, tears welled up in her eyes, and she repeatedly gestured "I love you." Since her elder son couldn't speak, he kept folding his hands together in gratitude for his mother's care. I was deeply moved by the scene, and all I could do was lead them in reciting the Buddha's name, allowing Aunty Loi to maintain her mindfulness.

Throughout, Aunty Loi communicated with her elder son through touch. Now, separated by a screen, they could only communicate through the language of the heart. While reciting the Buddha's name, they offered blessings to each other.

In the early hours of the following day, we received news of Aunty Loi's passing. All we could do was offer blessings and recite the Buddha's name, hoping that Aunty Loi could maintain virtuous thoughts and be reborn in a favorable realm.

One Strand of Hair, One Noble Wish

Written by Venerable Chang Miao

On the morning of July 26, 2021, I received photos of "hair-cutting and hair donation" from Sister Bao Mei of Pertubuhan Kebajikan Rumah Jing Yuan, along with a brief message: "Venerable, could you help write a short article for Facebook? I've written her life story before." Without hesitation, I gladly agreed. As I slightly tilted my head and looked at her photo, my face relaxed, and genuine joy emanated from within; in my right hand, I held a bundle of 15 centimeters of long hair, while my left hand made a victory gesture. It was as if I were walking on the edge of life, discovering the meaning and joy of life. That radiant smile touched my heart, and it was a smile that had been absent for over two years. However, writing an article cannot rely solely on a few photos and a few words. We must understand why she had the idea to donate her hair, the process of growing her hair, and her feelings after donating it. So, the next day, I visited her at Pertubuhan Kebajikan Rumah Jing Yuan.

The following day, I arrived at Jing Yuan and went to her bedside. She greeted me with a smile and said, "Yesterday, Sister Bao Mei helped me cut my hair and then donated it to cancer patients as a wig. I'm very happy." Following her lead, I asked, "Was that your wish? Why did you have this idea?" She replied, "Because of Uncle Leong across from me. He was a terminal colorectal cancer patient, and he told me that he had lived a lonely and regretful life. He didn't cherish life when he was healthy and didn't contribute to society. Now, in his illness, he suffers without anyone to care for him, and he's fully aware of the cold and warmth in life. Fortunately, Pertubuhan Kebajikan Rumah Kasih Jing Yuan provided shelter for my illness, allowing me to receive medical care and have a home in my old age. After passing away, he wanted his body to be cremated and donated to medical students for educational purposes. This way, it could be put to good use and also be a contribution to society." Uncle Leong's thoughts deeply moved me. While I may not have the greatness of "donating my body," at the very least, I want to "donate my organs" when I'm at the end of my life, such as my corneas to those in need, allowing them to see the light again." That was my initial thought. Later, when the Tzu Chi volunteers heard about it, they suggested, "Currently, the pandemic is severe, hospitals are overcrowded, and there is a shortage of medical personnel. If you want to donate your corneas at the end of your life, the hospital may not be able to process it in time, and your wish may not be fulfilled. Why not consider donating your hair to boost the confidence of cancer patients?" She kept their suggestion in her heart and decided to grow her hair long and donate it instead of donating her organs.

She said, "This bundle of hair is 6 inches long (about 15 centimeters), and it took me more than two years to reach the length required for hair donation. Especially in the hot and humid weather, having long hair can be annoying and quite torturous. But when I think that this is my last way of giving back to society, accompanying cancer patients with love and helping them regain their self-esteem, all the hardships and suffering during the process are worth it!" At that moment, she closed her eyes slightly and said, "If life allows it, I want to donate my hair a second time!" We looked at each other in silence, and the answer was already in our hearts.

She is a terminal breast cancer patient and grew up as an orphan. She is married and has a special needs son who is now 12 years old and attending a special school. In 2016, she was diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer but missed the golden treatment window. In August 2019, due to breast pain, she visited the National Cancer Society Malaysia, and the examination results showed that cancer cells had invaded her spinal cord, causing Metastatic Spinal Cord Compression (MSCC). As a result, she became paralyzed in her lower body and could no longer be treated. She could only receive hospice care at home.

After marriage, their family of three drifted without a stable home. Her husband is a casual laborer, and they would move wherever he found work. They lived in one of the rooms provided by the employer for employees. There was no elevator in the apartment building, and now, with her lower body paralyzed, how could she climb the stairs? How could her husband take care of her and their child? After the hospital understood her situation, the case was referred to Pertubuhan Kebajikan Rumah Jing Yuan in Setapak in October 2019. She received end-of-life care with all expenses fully waived, while her child's education and living expenses were supported by social welfare and kind-hearted individuals.

Many life stories of helpless patients tell me that when the disease cannot be cured, and life cannot be saved, at the end of life, one can still hold on to good intentions. This might be the last time for "self-benefit and benefiting others." I hope this ordinary cancer patient's life story can light a candle in the heart of each of us. Even as we walk towards the end of life, we can still "turn into spring mud to protect the flowers."