Life Stories

The records document the activities at Pertubuhan Kebajikan Rumah Kasih Jing Yuan and the stories of the patients, whether they are in their final moments or in the process of recovery. Each patient has a touching story with valuable lessons for us to learn. By reading their stories, we can send them deep blessings and encouragement.

20200329

[The Continuation of Love and Commitment...]

Written By Venerable Chang Miao

Connected by heart and hand, the continuation of love.

"Son, we're not wealthy. There's no need to send the child to an international school. Don't work too hard just for money, don't sacrifice your health by working long hours. Take care of yourself."

Tears welled up in the son's eyes as he lowered his head, choking back his emotions, placing his hand on his mother's back.

"Young sister, you must listen to your big brother. Complete your education; don't opt for part-time work, okay?"

Tears streamed down the daughter's face, and she sobbed uncontrollably, placing her hand on her brother's back.

"Dad, you promised me you wouldn't scold the kids anymore! They're all grown up!"

His voice trembled with tears, "I promise you, I won't scold them anymore!"

He placed his hand on his daughter's back.

At this moment, silence spoke louder than words,

In this instant, an indescribable love,

This scene, an eternal memory,

Hands on hands, hearts connected,

Promises to each other, guarding and understanding.

This is the continuation of love and commitment.

20200614

The "Four Paths of Life" - Apology, Gratitude, Love, Farewell

Written by Venerable Chang Miao

This is a real case, and the patient, referred to by a pseudonym, is still residing at the Setapak Center of Jing Yuan.

Ah Yue, 35 years old, is petite with a delicate face. In 2018, due to a family dispute, she was pushed off the fifth floor by her alcoholic father in a moment of anger. After extensive medical efforts, her brain was severely damaged, resulting in the loss of brain functions, medically known as "Persistent Vegetative State (PVS)." She has vital signs like breathing, heartbeat, and blood pressure, but she cannot think, speak, move her limbs, or feed herself and relies on a nasal gastric tube for liquid nutrition. Ah Yue spent nine months in the hospital, during which her limbs became stiff and twisted due to the lack of physical therapy.

When I visited Ah Yue, I learned that her father was imprisoned on charges of intentional harm after the accident. Her younger brother had a low income and had to work multiple jobs to pay for medical expenses. Their financial situation became dire, and they were unable to care for her, so they had to apply for her admission to Jing Yuan Hospice Home.

As I approached Ah Yue's bedside to offer my blessings, the nursing staff was in the process of suctioning mucus from her airway. A suction tube, about 12 centimeters long, was inserted through her tracheostomy, and Ah Yue's face immediately turned from pale to red. She let out cries of distress and her body trembled uncontrollably, tears streaming from her eyes. Watching this, I couldn't help but shed tears myself. In that moment, I prayed for Ah Yue to find relief from the suffering of life.

This scene did not disappear with the end of my visit. It became a lasting memory and a part of life education. Faced with Ah Yue's unique case, how could Ah Yue's family and Ah Yue achieve the "Four Paths of Life" in spiritual care - Apology, Gratitude, Love, and Farewell?

This scene made me reflect on how to gracefully bid farewell when faced with the impermanence and fragility of life, the trials of illness, the companionship of medical equipment, and the inevitability of death. It is undoubtedly a lesson in my own life.

This scene made me realize that I should write a living will in advance and inform the people around me that if my life is seriously compromised, and there is no longer any meaning in treatment, "please do not resuscitate me, do not intubate me, do not perform cardiopulmonary resuscitation," and the like. Please let me go peacefully and calmly. This is the greatest respect you can give me in my final moments of life.

This scene is not a curtain call for life but the opening of a prelude to exploring life.

What are the "Four Paths of Life"?

The "Four Paths of Life" is a concept proposed by Dr. Zhao Keshi, the mother of palliative care in Taiwan, in the context of Taiwan's palliative care. She advocates that when life is nearing its end, patients and their families should engage in a two-way interaction, allowing each other to complete the final journey of life without regrets.

The "Four Paths of Life" are summarized as follows:

Apology (represented by the phrase "I'm sorry"): Forgiving and seeking forgiveness for past mistakes and wrongdoings.
Gratitude (represented by "Thank you"): Expressing sincere thoughts, blessings, and advice to loved ones.
Love (represented by "I love you"): Thanking loved ones for being in our lives, for everything they have done for us, and for their care and protection.
Farewell (represented by "Goodbye"): Saying goodbye genuinely, telling them that you will never forget them, and expressing gratitude again.

The application of the "Four Paths of Life" is not limited to end-of-life communication between patients and their families; it should be integrated into daily life as well. Through regular practice, when loved ones approach the end of life, these four phrases can be expressed with ease. Otherwise, when facing the departure of a loved one, the desire to say these words may be there, but the words may remain unspoken, leading to regrets.

In the case of Ah Yue, she may no longer be able to engage in the "Four Paths of Life" with her family. However, her father and younger brother can visit her at Jing Yuan Hospice Home and provide basic massages, nail trimming, and companionship, sincerely repenting for their mistakes, and seeking forgiveness. This can be a form of emotional healing for both parties.

Due to the unique circumstances of each case, the approach may vary. If a terminally ill patient lacks the courage to engage in the "Four Paths of Life" with family members before passing away, it may be advisable to record their thoughts and messages through video or audio recordings or through drawings and writings. This can serve as a cherished memory for their loved ones. If family members are unable to engage in the "Four Paths of Life" for the patient, it is recommended to perform the final "Unspoken Four Paths" by caring for the patient's body and changing their clothes after their passing.

The practice of the "Four Paths of Life" allows the dying to complete their final journey without regrets and provides comfort to their families, ensuring peace for both the living and the dying.

20200717

"Companionship and Listening"

Written by Venerable Chang Miao

Sister Bao Mei from Pertubuhan Kebajikan Rumah Kasih Jing Yuan called to inform me that there was a terminally ill patient who wished for my visit. As I entered Jing Yuan, I noticed more than a dozen pairs of different shoes neatly arranged on the floor. I knew it was not a new patient but rather a bodhisattva practitioner who was about to depart from this world. Upon entering the room, I saw a bed in the right corner where a person with sparse hair, eyes closed, a dark complexion, and making intermittent gasping sounds lay. It was clear that this person's time on earth was limited. Standing on either side of the bed were family members and friends, listening attentively to the explanation by Jing Yuan staff member Ou

Jiahui on how to help the dying person recite the Buddha's name and recall virtuous deeds.

After the explanation, the patient's fourth brother shared the situation with me. The patient was his younger sister, the only daughter in the family, named Xiao Fen (pseudonym), 40 years old, single, and in the late stages of colon cancer. For decades, Xiao Fen had been living with her father in Seremban. She had a deep bond with her father, and her father's later years were made comfortable by her care. The three brothers had all settled down, each with their own family, and they visited their hometown occasionally to see their father and Xiao Fen. In the end, what their father had on his mind was Xiao Fen. I told my father, don't worry, even if the other brothers don't want to take care of Xiao Fen, it's fine! I'm willing to take care of her until her last days. After hearing this, my father took his last breath and departed with peace of mind. Unexpectedly, two years later, the father passed away due to cancer, and two years later, Xiao Fen was also about to leave us! As he spoke, he wiped away tears from his face with his hands. (At this moment, listening and companionship are the greatest forms of solace.) He composed himself and continued, "After Xiao Fen became ill, she moved to Kuala Lumpur to live with me. She had one unfulfilled wish, which was to return to our hometown. But given her critical condition, she can no longer go back! Her friends all live in the Seremban area, and their relationships are very close. That's why I plan to hold the funeral in Seremban, and after cremation, her ashes will be placed in the Guangdong Yishan Ash Tower in Kuala Lumpur, alongside our deceased parents."

To assist him in fulfilling Xiao Fen's wish, I told him that he could softly speak to her by her ear. Given her current condition, she wouldn't be able to return to Seremban. After her passing, the funeral would take place in Seremban, and before sending her back to her hometown, there would be a brief stopover as a symbolic return to her roots. Please assure her to let go of all attachments!

Afterwards, I led her family and friends to her bedside to perform the "Four Paths of Life - Apology, Gratitude, Love, Farewell." I held Xiao Fen's hand and said to her, "Throughout history, everyone experiences birth and death. We are constantly in the cycle of life and death. Death is just the end of this phase of life, awaiting the beginning of a new life. Your body is failing, and it can no longer serve you. We must now let go of this deteriorating body, as the next life will be in a new body, free from illness. You are fortunate; before passing away, you took refuge with a monk, and you have become a formal disciple of the Triple Gem. At this moment, you should recite the Buddha's name in your heart, relying on the compassionate vows of Amitabha Buddha, and aspire to be reborn in the Western Pure Land. Besides reciting the Buddha's name in your heart, you should also let go of worries about your young nephews. Your fourth brother and his wife will raise them and take care of them; you don't need to worry. You should also let go of concerns about your friends by your side. Your optimism, your understanding, and your generosity will be remembered by your friends! Later, your family and friends will take turns by your bedside to recite the Buddha's name and offer blessings. Listen to the Buddha's name with your ears and recite it in your heart together with everyone!"

After I spoke, I led her family and friends to once again perform the "Four Paths of Life - Apology, Gratitude, Love, Farewell," reciting the Buddha's name, expressing gratitude, and bidding farewell.

Xiao Fen peacefully passed away to the Pure Land of the Buddha amidst the chanting of the Buddha's name at 9 PM that night.

"Recite the Buddha's name! Recite the Buddha's name! Sincerely chant the name of Amitabha, seeking rebirth in the Land of Ultimate Bliss, where liberation is attained. May Xiao Fen let go of all attachments, recite the Buddha's name with a focused heart, be guided by the Buddha, and be reborn in the Pure Land of ultimate happiness."

I wholeheartedly wish Xiao Fen to let go of all attachments, recite the Buddha's name wholeheartedly, and be guided by the Buddha to rebirth in the Land of Ultimate Bliss.

20200811

"Ah Hong, You Are Not Alone in Life"

Written by Venerable Chang Miao

Every time I visit Pertubuhan Kebajikan Rumah Kasih Jing Yuan in Setapak to provide care, there are always many unspoken feelings of 'reluctance' and 'helplessness' towards the 'patients.' However, this heartfelt care never stops because this is a unique place of spiritual cultivation. It allows me to witness the true essence of 'suffering and impermanence' in Buddhism.

Whenever you enter the Jing Yuan ward, whether you are visiting as a family member or a donor of supplies, you will always see the first bed on the left side near the door. There lies a young man who, despite having undergone brain surgery and part of his skull removed, still maintains a dignified appearance like a strong young man. His name is Ah Hong (pseudonym), 38 years old this year. According to a letter from Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (UKM) in December 2018, Ah Hong lost his parents at a young age and is the only child in the family. He was working as a chef in a restaurant when he suddenly suffered a stroke and was rushed to the hospital by his colleagues. Due to intracranial hemorrhage, during the surgery, blood clots were removed, part of the skull was taken out to increase intracranial compensation space, reduce intracranial pressure, restore cerebral blood flow perfusion, and prevent vascular compression, facilitating venous return, all aimed at rebuilding cerebral blood flow perfusion. This procedure is called "craniectomy," where a portion of the brain tissue is sacrificed to preserve the patient's overall life.

The hospital letter mentioned that during Ah Hong's hospitalization, not a single friend or family member came to visit. The phone number provided upon admission was completely out of contact. A missing person notice was even published in Sin Chew Daily, but there was still no response. Although the hospital saved his life, he had become a vegetative state patient, requiring long-term use of a ventilator to sustain life and in need of someone to take care of him. Consequently, his case was referred to Jing Yuan Hospice Home.

According to Brother Xiao, who works there, he recalled Ah Hong when he first arrived at the center. Ah Hong couldn't move his eyeballs, had no facial expression, and no sensation in his limbs. However, through the care provided by Tzu Chi Medical Association, volunteer physical therapists who provided intermittent physical therapy, and the company of fellow cancer patients and staff who talked to him and massaged him every day, over two years, we could see improvements in Ah Hong's physical and mental condition. His eyeballs could slowly move, he started to show facial expressions, and his right hand fingers could make slow movements. He could hear what we said to him, understand it, and even respond non-verbally.

Last week when I visited him, Brother Cong was massaging his chest, asking him to respond by raising his fingers in response to simple numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. His right hand fingers would slowly lift corresponding to the numbers. I removed my mask and taught him to recite "Amituofo" (Amitabha Buddha's name). When I pronounced 'A,' he opened his mouth and tried to follow me, though he couldn't vocalize. Then, he squinted his eyes, smiled, showing his neatly white teeth, and his facial muscles relaxed into a smile! His silent smile also brought comfort to our hearts.

Some might wonder if Ah Hong is gradually recovering his memory, wouldn't it inflict even greater psychological trauma upon him, and what is the meaning of living?

However, recent medical research indicates that most patients in a vegetative state have lost all ability to be conscious, think, or behave voluntarily. They can open their eyes, breathe, cough, exhibit the grimacing response, swallow, and make throat sounds. They may even seem aware of their surroundings because of these responses. However, they lack self-awareness and awareness of their environment. In other words, repairing the memory area cannot help a person regain their memories. Instead, it can restore their ability to learn new knowledge. Repairing the language area cannot make them speak again; it can only restore their ability to learn language.

n conclusion, Ah Hong didn't receive any visits from friends or family during his hospitalization. After moving to Jing Yuan Hospice Home, thanks to your, my, and others' 'loving care and companionship,' he is no longer alone on the journey of his life. We cannot change Ah Hong's fate, but at least we can extend our hands, hold his hand, talk to him, help him regain the ability to learn language, and let him regain the ability to learn new knowledge. Please do not hesitate; your good thoughts, actions, and a simple greeting can bring a little more sunshine and warmth to the remaining days of Ah Hong's life! Through Ah Hong's story, what life lessons and inspirations can we receive? The answer is left for you to discover.

20201024

"One Worm's Revelation"

Written by Jia Hui

This is a story about a deeply loving couple with no children. In the past, they worked together in an association and traveled together. However, four years ago, the wife developed vertigo and had surgery on both feet, which left her unable to walk. Despite this, her husband cared for her tirelessly during this period, even pushing her wheelchair for outings. They sought medical help, both traditional and Western, for her condition, but none could provide a cure. In July, the husband, at the age of 79, was diagnosed with advanced colon cancer, and the doctors implied that it was incurable. They referred the patient to Hospice Malaysia since there was no one to care for him at home. Hospice Malaysia then referred their case to the Pertubuhan Kebajikan Rumah Kasih Jing Yuan

This was my first home visit, accompanying Sister Bao Mei to their residence. The husband lay in his room, while the wife lay on a single bed in the living room. Their meals were usually provided by neighbors due to their inability to take care of themselves. Their living conditions were far from ideal. Initially, they were reluctant to move into the hospice center, but after Sister Bao Mei's persuasion and care, they agreed. They were living in a rented place, and fortunately, the wife's younger sister visited her sister's home every few days to organize furniture and handle paperwork. Strangely, the day before the wife moved into the center, she swallowed many pills in an attempt to commit suicide. Luckily, she was discovered in time by a neighbor who was delivering food and immediately called an ambulance to take her to the hospital. The husband moved into the center the next day, and after spending two weeks in the hospital, the wife also moved into the center.

The husband had been at Purewish Hospice Home for about two months, during which his condition remained stable. However, his health started deteriorating around the Mid-Autumn Festival, with occasional confusion and lapses of consciousness. Seeing his condition, the wife was deeply anxious and upset, tears filling her eyes. Thanks to the care of the nursing staff, her emotions were comforted. Being a Buddhist, I provided her with a prayer counter to recite Buddhist mantras, dedicating the merits to her husband and all sentient beings.

Several days later, one morning, she told me, "Jiahui, I'm very sad, and I want to commit suicide. But I don't have any medication with me, and I can't climb up to hang myself. I've recited Buddhist mantras tens of thousands of times, but he doesn't seem to be getting better. I know that life, aging, illness, and death are part of life, but I'm truly suffering."

After understanding the reason behind her desire to end her life, I learned that she feared the prospect of growing old alone and didn't want her husband to pass away before her.

She repeatedly emphasized the promise her husband had made to be together until old age, and she clung to that commitment.

At that moment, I told her that facing her own sadness and grief wasn't an easy task, but she could try a method: tell herself, "I'm feeling very sad and upset right now." She didn't need to take any immediate action or think about how to solve the future; she could just relax her body and mind. I also took this opportunity to counsel her, saying that their relationship in this life was a karmic connection, and in our past lives, we had likely formed many relationships, including familial, friendly, and romantic ones. Buddha once said that the tears shed for loved ones over countless lifetimes are more numerous than the waters of the sea.

Additionally, I shared a story with her about a deeply loving couple. After the wife passed away, the husband was devastated and sought out a master with supernatural abilities to reunite him with his wife. It turned out that his wife had been reborn as a small worm, and the master transformed the husband into a worm as well. When they met, the husband was overjoyed and spoke to her extensively. However, the wife, having a new partner, didn't recognize him and even chased him away. It was then that the husband finally realized that in life, they were a couple, but after death, each had their own karma, and they were no longer husband and wife. The master then transformed the husband back to his original form.

I used this story to console her and told her that what she could do was to accompany her husband well. For example, they could have breakfast together when he was able to eat, and she could help him with porridge when he couldn't use his hands. When he was in good spirits, she could engage in conversations with him. During this time, Venerable Chang Miao, Sister Bao Mei, Hospice nurses and doctors, and Nurse Wong Shu Pei would also come to accompany them. These should be beautiful memories.

From that day on, the two of them would meet each other, transitioning from sorrow to blessings, completing the four stages of life—love, gratitude, apologies, and farewells. After a week, the husband passed away, and the wife accepted it calmly. Besides her Buddhist recitations, she would chant the Heart Sutra every morning and dedicate the merits to her husband. Today is the seventh day since her husband's passing, and we recited the Heart Sutra together, dedicating the merits to him. After the recitation, she told me, "Our meeting is a form of destiny. I hope he can go to a better world and no longer suffer."

20201211

Bodhisattva Practitioner of Humanistic Buddhism

Written by Jia Hui

Every time he visits Pertubuhan Kebakjikan Rumah Kasih Jing Yuan, he silently categorizes and organizes recyclables in the environmental conservation area.

Whenever he enters the patient dormitory area, he greets the patients with palms together in a gesture of respect.

Every time he sees a malfunctioning appliance at Jing Yuan or a bulletin board fallen, he takes out his repair tools and restores the items.

He is not just a volunteer at Jing Yuan; he is also the founder of Pertubuhan Kebajikan Rumah Kasih Jing Yuan—Brother Liew, as we affectionately call him.

Brother Liew is humble, friendly, and meticulous in his actions. Those who know him are sure to hold him in high esteem.

I remember one time during a meeting, when we were discussing the future vision of Jing Yuan, I took the opportunity to ask Brother Liew why he founded Jing Yuan. With a determined look in his eyes, Brother Liew said to us, "Simply because when patients are discharged, there is no place for them to stay, and no one to care for their suffering. So, I wanted to provide a place, a sanctuary, and take them in for free." With just this simple statement, coupled with his compassionate aspiration and action, Brother Liew and his team founded Pertubuhan Kebajikan Rumah Kasih Jing Yuan. It reminds me of a patient who, suffering from stage IV cancer, said before passing away, "Thank you for giving me a place where I can depart in peace."

Due to Brother Liew's compassionate aspiration, he often says that Jing Yuan is not his personal property; it was built with the collective strength of the public. This reminds me of the words of Ven. Yin Shun in "Exploring the Treasures of the Dharma Ocean":

"Although one may not have the opportunity to see the Buddha or hear the Dharma, if one engages in actions that benefit others everywhere, seeking the happiness of sentient beings, one's merits and virtues will be vast. With the increase in blessings and virtues, afflictions will naturally be partially subdued. Because one engages in worldly activities for the benefit of others, one will encounter good friends who assist... Such immeasurable worldly acts for the benefit of others across countless lifetimes, once one encounters the Buddha and hears the Dharma, generate the Bodhi mind, one will naturally attain enlightenment, directly entering the state of no birth, and complete perfect awakening."

Brother Liew's exemplary conduct and teachings are not only our models for learning but can also be seen as the Bodhisattva practitioners of Humanistic Buddhism in this world.