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Life Stories
The records document the activities at Pertubuhan Kebajikan Rumah Kasih Jing Yuan and the stories of the patients, whether they are in their final moments or in the process of recovery. Each patient has a touching story with valuable lessons for us to learn. By reading their stories, we can send them deep blessings and encouragement.
2022年2月25日
A Dignified Elderly Bodhisattva
Written by Jia Hui
Image by Chan Kok Sheng
The elderly Bodhisattva is 95 years old. Five years ago, she suffered a stroke that left her paralyzed on her right side. In addition, her right eye had impaired vision, and there was no one to take care of her. Therefore, she came from a nunnery in Malacca to Pertubuhan Kebajikan Rumah Kasih JIng Yuan in Pandan Indah. It's worth noting that when she first arrived, she could eat, talk, and even scold people!
As time passed, her health gradually deteriorated. She began to experience swallowing difficulties, lost her ability to speak, and her skin became dry. Despite the application of moisturizing lotion, her condition did not improve. Given her less-than-optimistic condition, she was transferred to Setapak Jing Yuan in December last year.
The elderly Bodhisattva arrived at around 4 PM. After settling her into her bed, the caregiver tried to feed her porridge, but she refused to eat or drink, explaining that she follows a practice of abstaining from food after noon. So, the caregiver bathed her, and she quietly rested in bed.
The following morning, the caregiver prepared a beverage and steamed buns for her, but she continued to refuse to eat or drink. Concerned, the caregiver asked me to come and check on her. After introducing myself, she greeted me with a smile, extended her hand for a handshake, and touched my head. Just as I was about to offer her some water, she pushed my hand away and covered her mouth with her hand. Seeing this, I couldn't help but laugh. I asked her questions, but she shook her head repeatedly and couldn't provide any answers. One of the caregivers suggested inserting a nasogastric tube, but I strongly opposed it. Given her frailty and the fact that her throat had already atrophied, I didn't have the heart to subject her to that procedure. I thought of other ways to help her.
Coincidentally, that day, a medical team visited the hospice home to examine patients. They sat beside the elderly Bodhisattva, held her hand, massaged her body to make her feel more comfortable, and then attempted to feed her. But she resisted, pushing their hands away and knocking the tea and food onto the floor. After assessing the situation, the medical team suspected that her bedsores might be inflamed, causing pain and discomfort, which explained her refusal to eat. Since she couldn't take oral pain medication, they recommended using suppositories for pain relief and instructed us to try feeding her again later.
By late afternoon, the elderly Bodhisattva still refused to eat. We began to consider the possibility that she might not be adjusting well to the environment here. So, we decided to send her back to Pandan Indah Purewish. After making the necessary arrangements and contacting Kak Arafah at Pandan Indah, we learned something crucial: when the elderly Bodhisattva drinks or eats, she prefers to sit in a wheelchair with a table and feed herself. Importantly, she insists on self-feeding and rejects being fed by others.
Following Kak Arafah's instructions, we set up a table and wheelchair for her. Soon, she picked up a cup and, in a customary gesture, extended it towards those around her as if to offer them a drink before slowly taking sips herself. When we witnessed this, we joyfully applauded and cheered, for the elderly Bodhisattva had finally started drinking and eating.
From then on, every morning after her bath, we would take her to the courtyard to have tea and eat. Before each meal, she would habitually offer the food or water to those around her as if asking if they wanted to partake before consuming it herself. The caregivers enjoyed teasing her, and sometimes, she even playfully bit their hands.
About a month after moving to Setapak Purewish, on a morning just before the new year, she sat in the courtyard and had a few sips of tea before dozing off. When the caregiver noticed her, she had peacefully passed away. After changing her clothes and covering her with a funeral shroud, we gathered around her with the caregivers to recite Buddhist prayers and wish her a peaceful journey to the afterlife.
Postscript: This elderly Bodhisattva, in order to maintain her dignity by feeding herself while sitting in a chair, was willing to go hungry and thirsty for an entire day. If she had compromised on that day, she might not have been able to fulfill her wish to drink water and eat comfortably in a seated position.
20220107
We had known each other
Written by Jia Hui
Phoon and Beh, both around 40 years old, share similar family backgrounds and medical histories. They both suffered from cerebral hemorrhages, resulting in strokes that required surgical removal of a significant portion of their left brains. This led to noticeable concavity on the left side of their heads. Phoon is an only child whose parents have passed away, and Beh's welfare referral letter indicates that his younger brother visited him in the hospital only once and hasn't been in contact since. Consequently, they found their way to Pertubuhan Kebajikan Rumah Kasih Jing Yuan in Setapak.
When Beh first arrived at Jing Yuan, not only was his right arm and leg completely paralyzed, but he also had difficulty swallowing. He had to be fed through a nasogastric tube, and a tracheostomy tube was inserted for suctioning mucus. He was also very restless, frequently attempting to get out of bed or remove the tubes. To prevent accidents, the caregivers had to restrain his limbs.
With approval from the nursing staff, Beh was occasionally given small sips of water and yogurt to relieve dryness and stimulate his tongue. After some time of being restrained, when it seemed that his condition had stabilized, the restraints were removed. However, in less than a day, he managed to remove both the nasogastric tube and the tracheostomy tube himself. When attempts were made to reinsert the nasogastric tube, he vehemently resisted, shaking his hands to prevent it. As he hadn't experienced choking while eating, they decided to try giving him soft porridge. Following a weekend evaluation by Dr. Raymond, he no longer needed the nasogastric tube. However, he had to stick to a soft diet temporarily. But for Beh, being able to eat without the tube was satisfying enough.
Shortly after, Beh was transferred to the Pandan Indah Jing Yuan Stroke Center, where he could receive daily physical therapy and acupuncture to facilitate his recovery. However, Phoon, who had missed the golden treatment period, still required the nasogastric tube and remained at Setapak Jing Yuan.
Sometimes, due to activities at Setapak Jing Yuan, the two long-lost friends, Phoon and Beh, would meet again. Although both were unable to speak, their reunion was heartwarming. They communicated through eye contact, expressions, and gestures, exchanging greetings and boosting each other's spirits.
Beh displayed remarkable perseverance. He would attempt to accomplish tasks himself if he could. He often used his left hand to assist his right in various activities. On one occasion, when he saw Master Chang Miao visiting Jing Yuan to care for the patients, he greeted her with palms joined in front of his chest, making a sincere but incomprehensible attempt to say, "Master, Amituofo!"
In recent times, Beh's condition has shown improvement. Consequently, the neurosurgery department suggested a cranial reconstruction procedure to install an artificial skull. This procedure would not only improve his appearance but also protect his brain nerves. While Beh couldn't speak, his awareness was clear, and he wished for a complete skull. After discussing the procedure's cost and risks with the hospital, an application for the surgery was submitted on his behalf. Since he had never contributed to the social security fund (SOCSO), approval for full coverage had to be sought through the hospital's welfare department. The doctors explained that the procedure had minimal risks, and as long as Beh didn't experience seizures during the surgery, everything should be fine.
Initially, the surgery required consent from family members. Attempts were made to locate Beh's family using the address on his identification card, but his family had relocated. Despite publishing advertisements in newspapers, no response was received. Ultimately, with approval from the hospital and Beh's consent, I signed the consent form on his behalf.
Regardless, the surgery needed approval from several hospital units and would take some time to schedule. In the meantime, we hope and pray that Beh's wish will be fulfilled soon and that Phoon can live comfortably and safely.